FIERCE COMPASSIONATE LAWYERS
The Law Office of Lisa A. Vance, P.C.

The Path to Your Piece of Mind
Divorce and Family Law Matters

We are now accepting clients statewide in Texas.

WE ARE WORKING!

As the situation with COVID-19 continues to develop and evolve, the safety, health and well-being of our clients and our team is extremely important to us. We are watching for the guidance of the Centers for Disease Control and international medical experts to learn how we can best manage our facility and our clients.

We would like to reassure you that The Law Office of Lisa A. Vance, P.C. will continue to be available to provide services to all of our clients.

Our lawyers and paralegals are working in the office and electronically, although most of us are working from home. Below is a list of FAQs regarding our response and commitment to you during COVID-19.

Can I even have a consultation with my lawyer remotely?

Yes, The Office of Lisa A. Vance, P.C. has a comprehensive remote working capability and all of our lawyers and paralegals are equipped to work securely from home.

Will my lawyer be available to answer questions and work on my case?

Yes, your legal matters will continue to receive our attention. You can email, call, or videoconference with your lawyer during this time.

We also have multiple videoconferencing options; please contact your attorney for the platform that works best for you

How are court hearings and appointments affected?

Court in Bexar County are now conducted by Zoom Please see our blog article Court via Zoom: It’s Actually, Really Court (and Here’s How It Works)

Can I consult with a lawyer about a new family law or divorce matter?

Yes, we have office staff working in house and remotely to ensure continuity in our business. For information about a family law or divorce matter, please call our office or complete the Request a Consultation Form.

Your family law matters remain our top concern and we are not going to permit this pandemic to take priority over your needs. We will remain confident, alert and prepared.

We wish you and your family well as we work through this difficult situation together.

With warm regards,
Lisa A Vance

 

 

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How do you talk to children about death?

| Feb 29, 2020 | Children In Divorce, Emotional Support And Divorce |

I was moved by the tribute to Kobe and Gianna Bryant on Monday. While Kobe Bryant was a talented player who gave us many memorable duels with my beloved Spurs, it was Gianna’s death that especially got to me — she was still so young, clearly had so much promise, and had so much more life to live.

That got me thinking about talking to children about death. Working in family law means that we work with two of the most emotionally vulnerable groups of children possible: Those who are experiencing divorce, and those who are experiencing the turmoil that come with CPS cases. Though we don’t directly do the emotional work of helping children through these situations, we work closely with the mental health professionals who do.

The death of a celebrity like Kobe Bryant impacts people in different ways: There’s certainly not a single way or predictable way or “right” way that people react to such news. People can react in a way that’s totally wrapped up in just that situation, or it can trigger them, causing them to revisit past incidents reminiscent of that situation. For example, if you lost a parent in a car accident, news of the tragic helicopter accident could be enough to bring you back to the shock and the hurt of that loss in your own life.

Children, who are still developing and learning their emotions, are especially susceptible to a range of reactions when it’s a celebrity they recognize. There was an excellent, recent Huffington Post article, “How to Talk to Kids About the Death of Their Celebrity Hero,” that could really apply to any situation involving children and grief and loss.

One of the most important pieces of advice in the article is “validate their feelings.” As she notes:

For children who have little experience with trauma or death, the death of a beloved public figure may be overwhelming as they feel scary, unfamiliar emotions. Parents have a duty to normalize these feelings, encourage their kids to talk about them, and prepare them for the emotional shifts they may experience.

The article also makes the observation that it’s a non-linear process. As much as we like to think about the five stages of grief and a discernible journey that ends in acceptance, we know that’s not exactly the case — especially for children.

As the author puts it, a child reporting on feeling anger at the helicopter pilot shouldn’t be told not to feel that way, but instead to acknowledge that the child feeling that anger and facilitating discussion by asking the child how it feels to have that anger.

It’s not easy to face death before you truly, fully know what it is, and it’s difficult to learn about death by being a survivor. It is indeed challenging for a child to experience big losses and uncertainty, including what might come as a result of a divorce or a CPS case. Even as we’re helping families legally reconcile issues, we know how important it is to have children heal emotionally from their losses … and we know how important it is for parents to validate their children’s feelings on the way to that.

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