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Should I take holiday advice from Kelly Clarkson?

by | Dec 22, 2020 | Children In Divorce, Emotional Support And Divorce |

If you’ve seen Kelly Clarkson on her daytime talk show or as one of the celebrity coaches on The Voice, you know she’s a pretty straight shooter. That’s why, when we ran across an article covering her divorce advice for the holidays, we gave it a look.

You might have heard she announced her own divorce plans earlier this year. That means she was able to bring a bit of lived experience to questions sent in from readers for a digital-only segment of The Kelly Clarkson Show called, “Kelly Gives Advice On Awkward Holiday Situations.

In one scenario, someone used the pandemic as an excuse to have Christmas with mom’s side of the family rather than their dad’s, noting that the dad’s side was “not so fun.” That person got busted by accidentally including a family member from dad’s side of the family in a group chat where they said they were “going with the fun ones.” The person then asked Kelly if they were “going to hell.”

She laughed and then responded, “No, but you are in so much trouble! Here’s the thing, don’t lie. Just own it, and then be like…‘become the fun ones, you know?’ Just own it.”

That’s great advice! You should be honest and direct in all your dealings with family, but that’s sometimes easier in theory than in practice. There are ways to make one slip of the tongue much worse and compound the initial problem. “Owning it” can be just the thing that allows everyone involved to move on.

Another fan asked Clarkson about making gifts rather than buying them, and Clarkson said if no one wants your expressions of creativity and care, “don’t be friends with them.”

“I love making stuff,” she went on to say. “Not because it’s just so much fun to make things, but it’s also therapeutic. Like when I color with my kids, yeah, I’m doing it with them because it’s fun for them and they love it and they ask me to do it, but also, it’s like, really soothing.”

Even if you have the budget to buy expensive gifts, you don’t necessarily need to do that. We talked about the dangers of getting into a gift-giving competition with your ex in a recent blog. Making gifts for your kids or with your kids can be something they’ll remember and appreciate years down the road. While every family is different, and you know your kids best, working some craft-making into your holiday can be thoughtful, fun, and special.

There was also some discussion about what happens when the conversation turns to politics, which we think is definitely a “your mileage may vary” situation. While we can see the point Kelly’s making about getting to the bottom of why people think and feel the way they do, around the dinner table at Christmas may not be the right time and place for you to do it. Some people can feel personally attacked when being questioned about their political views. That can make for a needlessly uncomfortable holiday. You can certainly put a pin in such a discussion and come back to it later.

We’re publishing earlier than usual because Christmas is Friday, and we know that a number of you will be celebrating—and our offices will close Wednesday afternoon in anticipation of that. But we know that this can be a challenging time if you’re going through a divorce, and we also know that a lot of people are contemplating divorce around this time — and plan to get started once they “get through the holidays.”

Know that, no matter where you’re at, the Law Office of Lisa A. Vance is here to help answer your questions and can help you get to where you need to get, whether it’s a divorce or a modification to an existing decree or a child custody issue.