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Be sure you’re ready to “relive your divorce” before you actually do

by | Jun 14, 2021 | Collaborative Divorce, Divorce, Emotional Support And Divorce, Mediation |

It’s not every week that we can relate a celebrity divorce to the divorces that our clients are going through, but something that Kim Kardashian expressed last week hit home with us … even though one of the articles about it started, “Nothing like watching your own heartbreak play out on national television.” 

The article, from E! Online, referred to the final episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians on June 10, and how the series covered the end of Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kanye West. 

As the article noted: 

For her, it seems that watching the show more than three months after she filed for divorce is like reliving the emotional split all over again.

“With the KUWTK finale and dramatic episode airing, it’s a lot for her to take in when she’s reminded of it,” a source close to Kim exclusively tells E! News.

The source says she “gets upset” thinking about the divorce and whenever the topic is brought up. “She has her ups and downs, especially when she thinks back to happy times with Kanye,” according to the insider.

Though she has “definitely” moved on from the relationship and is doing well in general, the source notes, “It is sad for her at times to think about the kids having to deal with their parents being split.”

The important takeaway from this is that anytime you have to revisit the end of your marriage and what led to it, it can be painful and challenging. For Kardashian, who is accustomed to a lot of her life being on-screen, it’s notable that she feels what she feels despite that. 

Most people, thankfully, don’t have to watch the end of their marriages unfold on TV and on the tabloids. But going through divorce, especially if it’s a litigated divorce, can mean reliving the end of one’s marriage in the process of settling the divorce. Litigation, in particular, can bring up old arguments and points of conflict as seen and told by both parties and their lawyers. 

One of the best things that people divorcing can do is to go through therapy throughout (and after, if needed) the divorce process. We like to say, “Your lawyer is not your therapist” to remind people that lawyers specialize in helping people through the legal aspects of divorce, whereas therapists are much better suited to help people through the emotional aspects of divorce. 

It’s also important for people to know that there are alternatives to litigation. An alternative dispute resolution method like collaborative law or mediation can help couples focus on settling whatever legal issues they might have, in settings that are less emotionally charged than the courtroom. Sometimes, the courtroom is the best place for you to settle your divorce, but you might actually be legally and emotionally best served by pursuing either a collaborative divorce or a mediated divorce. 

If you’re interested in exploring your options, schedule a consultation with the Law Office of Lisa A. Vance. We do the work in a consultation that will allow you to get a better sense of how your divorce will proceed. We can also refer you to therapists who can help with the emotional work you’ll want to do in tandem with the legal work we’ll do.