Not every petition for a divorce ends up in divorce. While divorce is sometimes necessary for people to move forward in their own lives, it’s an incredibly disruptive process in people’s lives, particularly if children are involved.
And in some cases, someone will file for divorce thinking there’s no possibility for reconciliation, only to find that the spouse’s initial reaction is to say, “I didn’t realize it was this bad for you.” Perhaps there were threats of divorce that were considered idle threats, but seeing the intent to divorce on paper makes it real.
Some will reconsider before they take the step of filing, seek counseling, and seek some sort of reconciliation to keep the marriage going. Others will take the initial step of filing for divorce, and that brings some “truth serum” to the relationship. It causes the couple to have difficult conversations about their lives and their future that they hadn’t faced. And in some cases, they determine that they don’t want to give up on the marriage quite yet.
In cases where it’s just “irreconcilable differences” cited as the reason for the divorce–simply, just one person coming to us and saying that the two of them aren’t getting along–the act of filing for divorce provides a wake-up call. It can be an expensive wake-up call, depending on how far down the road a couple gets in preparing for divorce.
But if a couple does decide that they want to redirect their energies from divorce to reconciliation at any point in the process, that’s a happy occasion for us. While we are in the business of helping people divorce, we do so with an eye toward minimizing the damage we know it can do.
There’s nothing wrong with changing your mind about divorce if you feel you can make a marriage work. We’ll gladly point you to resources that can help you accomplish that, and if you do ultimately decide to divorce in the end, we’ll still be here for you.