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Psychologist: Common divorce mistakes and how to avoid them

On Behalf of | Apr 19, 2013 | Divorce |

Our regular Bexar County family law blog readers know we share news items we come across that might be of use to people about to go through a divorce, currently going through one or who have recently experienced a divorce.

We recently ran across an article by psychologist Allison Pescosolido, who wrote about common divorce mistakes and how to avoid them.

Pescosolido writes that one of those too-frequent mistakes is that couples will often try to maintain their friendship after their divorce. Not a good idea, she writes.

So often, divorce is an emotionally challenging time when people should be marking clear boundaries with their ex, and avoiding intimacy with a former spouse.

Attempting to maintain a friendship will likely “lead to more heartache and pain,” Pescosolido says. Focus instead on healing heartache from the break, she writes.

Another common mistake: trying to get through divorce alone. People who choose this route are cut off from crucial love and support from family and friends that can help them get past the pain of divorce.

She noted that another common mistake people make is that they try to go it alone on the legal side of divorce, too. She said it’s much better to find a good family law attorney who can guide a person through the legal process and avoid mistakes people untrained in law often make.

Also on the list of common mistakes: rushing into a series of big decisions. After a divorce, many people feel liberated from having to share decision-making responsibilities. Unfortunately, they can sometimes feel compelled to make decisions on where to live, where to work, what to drive, etc., without thinking them through.

She urges the newly divorced to slow down and deliberate, especially when it comes to decisions about new romantic interests.

Source: Huffington Post, “5 Common Divorce Mistakes,” Allison Pescosolido, April 8, 2013

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