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The Law Office of Lisa A. Vance, P.C.

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We are now accepting clients statewide in Texas.

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As the situation with COVID-19 continues to develop and evolve, the safety, health and well-being of our clients and our team is extremely important to us. We are watching for the guidance of the Centers for Disease Control and international medical experts to learn how we can best manage our facility and our clients.

We would like to reassure you that The Law Office of Lisa A. Vance, P.C. will continue to be available to provide services to all of our clients.

Our lawyers and paralegals are working in the office and electronically, although most of us are working from home. Below is a list of FAQs regarding our response and commitment to you during COVID-19.

Can I even have a consultation with my lawyer remotely?

Yes, The Office of Lisa A. Vance, P.C. has a comprehensive remote working capability and all of our lawyers and paralegals are equipped to work securely from home.

Will my lawyer be available to answer questions and work on my case?

Yes, your legal matters will continue to receive our attention. You can email, call, or videoconference with your lawyer during this time.

We also have multiple videoconferencing options; please contact your attorney for the platform that works best for you

How are court hearings and appointments affected?

Court in Bexar County are now conducted by Zoom Please see our blog article Court via Zoom: It’s Actually, Really Court (and Here’s How It Works)

Can I consult with a lawyer about a new family law or divorce matter?

Yes, we have office staff working in house and remotely to ensure continuity in our business. For information about a family law or divorce matter, please call our office or complete the Request a Consultation Form.

Your family law matters remain our top concern and we are not going to permit this pandemic to take priority over your needs. We will remain confident, alert and prepared.

We wish you and your family well as we work through this difficult situation together.

With warm regards,
Lisa A Vance

 

 

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Tips for talking to your kids about divorce

| Oct 16, 2019 | Children In Divorce, Divorce |

When people start on the divorce process, meet with lawyers, and start getting into the legalese around divorce, it can be very easy to become accustomed to that language. But children don’t speak that language — something we were reminded of in a great new blog article we saw recently. 

It came from Corinth-based counselor Christy Graham, writing for the Collaborative Divorce Texas blog. In her article, titled “Divorce is a Family Affair,” she used the idea of children fearing the dark and monsters to talk about the “monsters” that appear for children during divorces. 

In one particularly interesting passage, she notes: 

Some of the monsters of coparenting include:

  • Asking where they want to live instead of asking their favorite and least favorite things about each home
  • Using litigation terms for family concepts instead of terms like ‘time with Mom and Dad’ and ‘CoParent’ and ‘home with Mom and home with Dad’
  • Saying “I miss you” instead of saying “I can’t wait to see you Friday!”
  • Telling the child “the whole truth” instead of cocreating a story about the changes in the family that takes into consideration the child’s age and needs 

These tips highlight the traps that parents fall into when they’re negotiating divorce. On one hand, they’re human beings experiencing very raw, very real emotions, in one of the most challenging situations a person can endure. On the other hand, they’re also parents who have a responsibility for their children’s well-being — including their emotional well-being. 

When parents introduce the “monsters” that Graham refers to, it may just be venting without even thinking about the implications. But for children, hearing “the whole truth” or legalese can be confusing, confounding and even painful.

The emphasis, in helping children transition to a post-divorce life, is emphasizing that while the family is being remade, it is still very much a family. Any language that reinforces that — like the “I can’t wait to see you Friday” rather than “I miss you” — helps to solidify the idea that Mommy and Daddy still love them. 

She also has some great suggestions for getting on their level: 

So how does a parent begin to understand how a child sees the changes in their life? First, spend unstructured, non-screen time with your child. Take 10-30 minutes a week to simply sit with them and be dumb. You don’t have the answers to anything, you don’t have a plan, and you are simply watching and interacting with them. Call it a date! If they like to play with dolls, do that and let them lead. If they like to play Uno or other game, play that. Just focus on them and see what happens. Second, eat meals with your child. Studies show that eating meals with your family teaches social emotional skills, protects against drug use and early pregnancy, and increases grades and earning potential. It also allows you to connect with them. Third, check in with them. Ask them how they are doing and ask them specific questions about their feelings about their two home world. Have them tell you how it feels at drop offs and pickups. Have them tell you what it felt like to share the changes in the family with their friends.

Remember that it’s not an easy and instantaneous process, but if both of you can focus on the children, it makes it a lot easier. We always advise in divorces with children, no matter how much you and your soon-to-be ex are experiencing and feeling, to think about children and put them first. 

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