While we’re not entirely out of the woods with COVID-19 and safety precautions, this year’s Halloween — whether it’s traditional trick-or-treating or trunk or treat events – could look a lot more like Halloweens of the past. And for kids — and plenty of adults — it can be an absolutely magical time of year. But it’s also a holiday which can lead to a lot of tensions between divorced parents trying to navigate it.
Depending on how strongly you, your kids, and your ex feel about Halloween, it may be appropriate to share the holiday if you and your ex can come to an agreement about how to do that. This year, for instance, with Halloween on a Sunday and on a fifth weekend of the month, it’s possible that there’s an event in there that your ex might want to take the kids to even though it’s your weekend.
As with many things regarding co-parenting, being able to communicate with your ex about holidays and parenting time is crucial. One you’ve agreed to something, if you’re just talking it out, it’s a good idea to commit it to writing, even if it is just via email or text.
By doing that, you can go back to what’s on the screen if there’s any confusion — which can happen if there are discussions about those matters that have a lot of back-and-forth about them. It’s possible that you may have agreed to a day and you’re fuzzy on the time specifics; having something you can look back at and refer to can be incredibly helpful.
If you’re in a good enough place with your ex where you can agree on sharing the weekend, or you’re both good with the children being with one parent for the duration of the weekend, consider sharing photos of your kids in their Halloween costumes. This is one of the times of year where kids get to shine and have fun, and it’s a good opportunity for parents to come together to enjoy their kids being kids.
However, Halloween can also be a holiday that can complicate a co-parenting relationship that’s already fraught. If both parents aren’t able to put the kids first as we recommend, and there’s something in your decree that’s not serving your kids as well as it could, it may be time to modify your decree to better meet those needs.
At the Law Office of Lisa A. Vance, we can talk to you about taking those steps if you feel that modification is what’s necessary. We can also, of course, talk to you if you’re planning your divorce and you’re looking to create a parenting time schedule that will work with that. In our initial consultation process, we go through the options that work best for you and get you on your way to creating a happy post-divorce life for you and your children.