When celebrities divorce, many of us tend to read with an eye toward wanting to know why. After all, though we don’t know celebrities personally — or, at least, most of us don’t — we feel that we know what they’re like and know enough about their lives to wonder what’s going to happen next. Divorce is a chapter that’s full of uncertainty, and for those going through it, knowing how others deal with it can help us deal with it.
Last week, news broke of what might be the ultimate high-net-worth divorce between supermodel Gisele Bündchen and football star Tom Brady. According to Yahoo!, the couple is breaking up after 13 years of marriage, as Brady is contemplating whether or not to retire from pro football and possibly shift into a different kind of spotlight as a TV analyst for the sport.
Bündchen was candid in the article, addressing what she found to be “‘very hurtful’ narratives surrounding their divorce.’” The article went on to reference a Vanity Fair interview in which she claimed rumors that the divorce was initiated when Brady returned to football following a brief retirement as “the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”
She had some wise and somber things to say about the divorce, starting with labeling the divorce “a death and rebirth,” which is a poignant way to put it.
“If there’s one person I want to be the happiest in the world, it’s him, believe me,” she observed. “I want him to achieve and to conquer. I want all his dreams to come true. That’s what I want, really, from the bottom of my heart.”
She also said, regarding where their relationship went, “When I was 26 years old and he was 29 years old, we met, we wanted a family, we wanted things together. As time goes by, we realize that we just wanted different things, and now we have a choice to make. That doesn’t mean you don’t love the person. It just means that in order for you to be authentic and truly live the life that you want to live, you have to have somebody who can meet you in the middle, right? It’s a dance. It’s a balance.”
She also noted, “When you love someone, you don’t put them in a jail and say, ‘You have to live this life.’ You set them free to be who they are, and if you want to fly the same direction, then that’s amazing.”
That’s an incredibly mature and thoughtful way to view divorce, and if a couple can get to that level of understanding, it can make the divorce process and post-divorce life that much easier. Of course, not all divorce happens that amicably — if there’s unfaithfulness or other kinds of emotional distress in the mix, couples will have to find their own formula for apology and forgiveness, dependently largely on the people involved, their history, and what’s transpired to cause the divorce.
But regardless of the circumstance or where people are in the process, the “death and rebirth” idea rings especially relevant. Divorce is a death; it’s an incredibly different transition that turns something that is into something that was. The couple in that marriage and their children are changed as a result of going through it.
But often, in the long run, those people can be changed for the better, and that’s where the rebirth comes in. To build from what Bündchen said, divorce allows people to be set free to be who they are and really want to be. People who are in an unhappy marriage may find divorce to be uncertain and scary, but preferable to what they’re living inside of the marriage. Bündchen reminds us that it can be challenging but ultimately worth it.
If you’re ready to explore the possibility of divorce, the Law Office of Lisa A. Vance is available for a consultation. In that initial meeting — which comes after we take the info gathering steps that some other law offices save for a “free consultation” — we let you know your options and can also refer you to professionals who can help you with the emotional process of divorce while we work on the legal aspects.