In our last article, we talked about the idea of the ending of a marriage being the beginning of a post-divorce life. We’re also at the time of year when people think about new beginnings, fresh starts, and changing how we approach life this year as opposed to last year.
That doesn’t quite translate into January being the “divorce month” that a lot of people believe it to be, but we do know — especially judging from the calls we get at the Law Office of Lisa A. Vance — that a number of people think about divorce when they enter a new year.
We ran across an article from DivorceMag.com titled, “Happy New Year, I Want a Divorce!” that essentially asked people thinking about divorce if they were ready to get divorced. There’s a whole dimension to the “are you ready” question that has to do with preparing the financial documentation needed to divorce.
We’ve explored facets of that throughout the life of this blog, including what assets and liabilities you need to account for as you prepare for divorce. We’ve also looked at the financial impact of getting divorced, and how to get ready for that.
We’ve even tackled issues like how easy it is to change your name in a divorce or change your child’s name after birth.
But the article we ran across dealt with it a little differently, asking the following questions:
- Have I voiced my concerns about our marriage to my spouse? Have we really tried to work on our problems?
- Am I threatening divorce out of frustration, spite, anger, or as a warning?
- Would I honestly be happier without my spouse?
- What would my life look like without my spouse?
- Am I ready to handle the negative consequence of divorce?
- Do I still have feelings for my spouse?
There’s a concept we’ve explored before called “divorce readiness.” It’s essentially the idea of whether a person is emotionally ready to go through with a divorce. The questions above reveal the emotional toll that a divorce can take, and also highlight just how dramatic and life-changing divorce can be.
In divorce, each person involved typically has a differing level of divorce readiness. Many times, the person who is preparing to file for divorce has a higher degree of divorce readiness than the person who is about to be served with a petition. That stands to reason — if someone is making legal preparations to get divorced, that person is undergoing the emotional preparation to get there.
The other person in the relationship may have a sense his or her spouse wants a divorce, and may even want to get divorced also. But the feeling of wanting to get divorced and actually going through the divorce process are two very different things. It often takes time and energy to get both people on the same page.
Divorce is not something to go into cavalierly, and the questions above are good ones to ask. Of course, if you do determine divorce is right for you, divorce readiness is something you need to factor in as you go forward. At the Law Office of Lisa A. Vance, we’ve handled a lot of different types of divorce, and we know how to work with couples in differing degrees of divorce readiness. We can help you navigate it, no matter what side of the equation you’re on.